Mississippi makes Adolf Hitler's autobiography Mein Kampf the state's official book for its heroic portrayal of insatiable hate.
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Mississippi, in light pink. (Above) |
"We are decent God-fearing folks struggling against gays and other demonic members of the pro-communist LGBT community, and that is why I signed the bill making Mein Kampf the official book of Mississippi," explained a smiling Governor Bryant.
Bryant continued, "Mein Kampf is about how Hitler was not allowed to brutally repress most of the people around him, who he hated, until much later in his life. It perfectly captures the centuries-old tradition of intolerance Mississippi cherishes."
"The gays and their LGBT co-conspirators are trying to convince Mississippi they are actual people worthy of equal protection under the law, and we aren't about to allow that to happen," promised Bryant.
An unidentified member of the press asked Governor Bryant if any other notable books had been considered by the legislature to be the official book of the Magnolia State.
"The Confederate Constitution, but everyone sadly concluded that ship had already sailed a long time ago. So we'll just repress the LGBT community," replied Bryant.
Governor of Tennessee Bill Haslam (R) thanked Mississippi for a distraction allowing him to sign a bill making the Bible his state's official book.