Republicans Demand Cuba Rise to Saudi Human Rights Record

LAST UPDATED @ 7:18PM (3.22.2016)

Republicans demand Cuba rise to Saudi Arabia's human rights record if Cubans want the American embargo on their country to end.

Capital Punishment in Saudi Arabia - Wikipedia
Deera Square AKA Chop Chop Square (above) is the place Saudi Arabia uses to behead offenders.
(SOURCE: WikiCommons)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republicans declared the American embargo on Cuba would only be lifted if the Cuban government improved its record on human rights. Boasting the United States and its allies cherished such rights, Republicans demanded Cuba rise to Saudia Arabia's human rights record.

"The United States and its friends are above reproach when it comes to human rights. If Cuba wants the embargo lifted, it must rise to Saudi Arabia's record on human rights," declared Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who refused to answer any questions related to the vacant seat on the Supreme Court.

McConnell added, "America takes its international commitment to defending and preserving human rights very seriously. If Cuba wants to be friends with the United States it must consult with Saudi Arabia on how to improve its human rights record."

"My foreign policy advisers are telling me the Saudis loves all of their citizens, and wouldn't execute a fly. Well, maybe if it was gay or too Western they would," replied Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump.

After Trump's comments on Cuba, TNA could not find any Republicans willing to discuss what Saudi Arabia could teach the Cubans on humans rights.

"I totally dig beheading and crucifixion for a huge amount of crimes. I think the Saudis and I are going to make a lot of amazing deals," announced Trump.


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