"Home of the Brave" Deports Scary Child Refugees Back to War Zones to Die

LAST UPDATED @ 6:20PM (2.26.2016)

The United States of America proudly proclaims itself to be "the home of the brave," but that bravery has exceptions like unaccompanied, and extremely scary, child refugees.
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The United States of America, "the home of the brave." Exceptions apply.
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WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the United States deported dozens of unaccompanied, and very frightening, child refugees back to the war zones around the world they had fled from. The child refugees were expected to spread tales of American bravery for as long as they remained alive.

"The United States is undoubtedly 'the home of the brave,' but these child refugees are extremely scary. Something about the unaccompanied ones is especially alarming," explained Secretary of Homeland Security Jeh Johnson.

Johnson continued, "These kid refugees are being sent back to the war zones they have fled from as soon as possible so Americans can be less scared, and not have to live and die by the values they pretend to cherish."

"Upon their return, these kid refugees will undoubtedly share stories of American ideals, especially our bravery, for as long as they live. Fortunately for us, that probably won't be very long," said Johnson.

An unidentified member of the press asked Secretary Johnson if there was any way for Americans to be less afraid of unaccompanied child refugees.

"Not that I can see. We are just going to have to keep showing the world our bravery has very clear limitations," replied Johnson.


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