Psychopathic Iowans Rally for Canadian Psychopath Ted Cruz

LAST UPDATED @ 12:20AM (2.2.2015)

Iowan psychopaths convinced of their own moral superiority and incapable of feeling any empathy to temper their bigotry decided Ted Cruz was a more convincing psychopath than Donald Trump.

Senator Ted Cruz at 2014 CPAC. Cruz claims to be more anti-liberty than Trump.
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admiari) - Tonight, psychopathic Iowans - largely of the evangelical persuasion - rallied to deliver Canadian psychopath U.S. Senator Ted Cruz of Texas a win in the state's Republican caucus. The ultra-conservative Iowans barely rejected psychopathic billionaire Donald Trump for lacking the correct mixture of moral superiority and seething bigotry devoid of all empathy.

"Psychopathic Iowans convinced of their own moral superiority made a clear choice tonight that Ted Cruz was their empathy-handicapped choice between two extremely dangerous psychopaths," explained Senior Researcher Dick Schneider.

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Schneider continued, "Trump was just not convincing enough to the psychopaths he needed to gain the support of to win in Iowa. Many couldn't get past him not knowing every word in the Bible, even though they welcomed his bigotry."

"We'll have to wait to see if psychopaths in New Hampshire will be more susceptible to Trump's psychopathy," asserted Schneider.

Upon hearing he lost, Trump called Iowans "a bunch of losers" and reminded everyone Ted Cruz was born in Canada and also a loser.