Lockheed Martin claims its F-35 Joint Strike Fighter can only do one mission per month due to the platform being "a highly effective killing machine," and out of the company's immense concern about civilian casualties.
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| A World War I-era 1917 Sopwith Camel biplane (Top Left) and a modern F-35 (Top Right) in their natural habitat - on the ground. |
"The F-35 can be utilized about twelve times every year. In between these missions the F-35 will require weeks of maintenance to address the damage it sustained from being exposed to direct sunlight, rain, wind, and the Earth's atmosphere," explained Secretary of Defense Ashton B. Carter.
Carter continued, "The over $1 trillion spent on the F-35 have been well worth it. The American taxpayer can be proud of the F-35, because it is a platform that cannot indiscriminately kill as many civilians as older and more effective platforms."
"I will now allow Lockheed Martin Chairman, President, and CEO Marillyn A. Hewson to make a statement on the F-35," declared Secretary Carter, as he rushed for the nearest exit.
"Lockheed Martin stands by the F-35. It is such an effective killing machine it needs to be limited to one mission per month," stated Hewson.
"And, of course, Lockheed Martin is extremely concerned about civilian casualties," asserted Hewson prior to making a hasty exit.