Hillary Tries to Improve Favorability By Attacking Jewish Grandfather's Popular Policies

LAST UPDATED @ 11:46PM (1.27.2016)

Hillary Clinton has determined Americans will like her more if she attacks the popular policies championed by her chief rival, U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont.

Hillary Clinton testifying before House Select Committee on Benghazi. (Above)
(Public Domain Image)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she thought her favorability among Americans would improve if she attacked U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont for championing policies most Americans supported. Clinton dismissed criticism she was using the same strategy utilized by her 2008 campaign, which resulted in Clinton losing the Democratic presidential nomination to then-U.S. Senator Barack Obama of Illinois.

"I have discussed this with all of my senior campaign staff and large contributors, and I am going to continue attacking Bernie Sanders for supporting policies that are extremely popular among Americans. The polls say that strategy will improve my favorability numbers with Americans," asserted Secretary Clinton, who held up a sheet of paper with a bar graph on it.

Clinton continued, "Free state college tuition? Americans getting healthcare as a birthright? A modern infrastructure? Regulating the financial sector to avert massive financial crashes? Not in my America, Bernie."

"My friends on Wall Street don't want to start paying their fair share of taxes again, and if I become president you can bet they won't," said Clinton.

An unidentified member of the press asked Secretary Clinton if she had a back-up plan in the event the 2008 strategy failed again in 2016.

"I'll probably have others go after Bernie based on his age, health, and have them keep calling him a communist," replied Clinton, who also claimed "Americans would love that."


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