Defense Contractors Predict "Win" in ISIS War, Lots of Money

LAST UPDATED @ 6:32PM (12.4.2015)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, American defense contractors predicted hundreds of thousands of American ground troops will win the imminent, expanded war against the Islamic State (ISIS) in Syria, Iraq, and probably elsewhere. The arms producers expected to make an acceptable profit before, during, and after the war, and defined "win" as the United States and its allies leaving a power vacuum in the region to guarantee future armed conflicts and demand for weapons.

"The United States will have some of the best ground weapons American taxpayers can buy, and it will crush ISIS in Syria and Iraq. Another place on America's not-so-secret Middle East hit list may also be crossed off using our weapons, which we stand behind 110%," explained Lockheed Martin Corp. Senior Spokesman Cecil Meyers, who coughed and said "Iran" at the same time.

Meyers added, "And after the war, companies like Lockheed Martin will place pressure on lawmakers in Congress to stay in the region for as long as possible. In the event the United States ever does leave, this company and its competitors will do all we can to promote instability in the region and all over the globe."

Iran (in green above) - the primary target of the arms industry.

"Because instability in the Middle East is good for our bottom line. I really cannot stress that enough. We are a for-profit business, just like our competitors, and the more weapons we sell to the United States and others the more money we make," asserted Meyers.

Regarding the media's coverage of ISIS, Meyers stated, "The corporate media is doing a hell of a job promoting a larger war on ISIS in the Middle East by keeping sensible people with moderate solutions off of the air and away from the American people."

Boeing, Raytheon, General Dynamics, and Northrop Grumman also declared they were excited for an expanded war with ISIS, and the tons of money it will make them.


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