Hillary Drafting Young Donors for 2017 ISIS Ground War

LAST UPDATED @ 5:31PM (11.20.2015)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was drafting all of her campaign donors between the ages of 18 and 25 for ground combat roles in the war she planned to fight against the Islamic State (ISIS) following her inauguration in 2017. Clinton touted her gender inclusiveness in the process, and noted both men and women were being automatically volunteered for military service to fight in her future Middle East wars of choice.

"My supporters must know by now that I intend to be far more willing to use the American military in direct ground combat roles than President Obama. I have learned absolutely nothing from my vote to authorize the 2003 war in Iraq, or the American experience in Vietnam," said Secretary Clinton, who reminded reporters ISIS was just the first of many targets.

Clinton continued, "All my supporters have to do is listen to the words coming out of my mouth when I speak to them. I absolutely intend to grow our ground forces in order to fight in all of my wars, and drafting donors to my campaign between the ages of 18 to 25 just makes a ton of sense"

Hillary Clinton testifying before House Select Committee on Benghazi. (Above)
(Public Domain Image)

"Donors will be drafted regardless of whether they donated a dollar or the maximum. The only thing that matters is if a donor is 18 to 25 years old," asserted Clinton, who promised no poor or middle class kids would escape fighting a war for the military-industrial complex on her watch.

"We are also allowing donors who have 17-year-old children to give my presidential campaign consent to draft them, too," declared Clinton, who said the measure was necessary for the war she was planning with Iran following inevitable American losses in the war against ISIS.

Secretary Clinton responded to complaints from her drafted young donors between the ages of 18 to 25 by warning, "They should have read the fine print before donating to Hillary 2016."


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