All Democratic Debates Changed to Mondays at 3AM

LAST UPDATED @ 6:11PM (11.12.2015)

Hillary denies any role in Democratic debate schedule changes, claims 3AM time "complete coincidence" in no way related to political attack ad Clinton campaign ran against then-Senator Barack Obama in 2008.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) announced all of the remaining Democratic presidential debates would occur on Mondays at 3AM. Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton denied any involvement in the debate schedule changes, as most Americans accused her of pushing for the scheduling changes to reduce the number of Americans able to watch Clinton debate her more progressive challengers.

"I don't know why all future Democratic debates have been rescheduled to Monday mornings at 3AM, but Americans should look on the bright side. Anyone who is actually up that early on a Monday morning will get to see what candidate is most alert at that time of day," explained Secretary Clinton.

Clinton added, "When that phone rings at the White House at 3 o'clock in the morning, you want someone with tons of experience supporting wars of choice and bombing foreign populations indiscriminately to answer it. Both of my Democratic opponents lack that type of experience."

Hillary Clinton testifying before House Select Committee on Benghazi. (Above)
(Public Domain Image)

Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont and former Governor of Maryland Martin O'Malley condemned the DNC for rescheduling the debates, and accused DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz of working with the Clinton campaign to limit the public's exposure to her Democratic challengers.

"What's the problem now? First, everyone complained about debates being scheduled at times people don't watch debates, like the next one that was going to be on Saturday night. Now 3AM on Monday mornings is no good. Some people are just never happy," protested Wasserman Schultz.

Secretary Clinton announced the 3AM start time for the Monday morning debates was "a complete coincidence," and in no way related to the campaign ad she ran in 2008 against then-Senator Barack Obama of Illinois to attack his lack of warmongering and bombing experience.


The Nil Admirari is "America's Most Swell News Source" of the spurious variety.