Lying Republicans to Take Lies to "Safer" Conservative Media

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, all of the Republican presidential candidates announced they would be taking their blatant lies and distortions to "safer" conservative propaganda outlets following Wednesday's CNBC debate where they were all confronted on some of their lies. The Republican National Committee (RNC) also declared it was "breaking up" with NBC as a result of the last debate, even as NBC promised to "better accommodate" Republican lies in the future.

"We are going to take our interviews and debates to places where we won't be called out for telling blatant lies. So we'll definitely continue talking to conservative propaganda outlets like Fox News, which is the king of broadcasting lies to people that never question them," stated Republican presidential candidate Senator Marco Rubio of Florida.

The Four Horsemen of the Republican Party: Hate, Fear, Paranoia, and Perceived Victimization.

Rubio continued, "Well, except Trump, who is fighting with Fox News again. But we are all going to talk to people like an increasingly irrelevant Rush Limbaugh, an increasingly unmedicated Glenn Beck, and other conservative propaganda outlets like Breitbart. The people who follow them have no critical thinking skills, and are perfect."

"Hate, fear, paranoia, and perceived victimization are the Four Horsemen of the Republican Party. If NBC won't allow Republican presidential candidates to lie with impunity and stir the pot, then we'll take our lies elsewhere," asserted RNC Chairman Reince Priebus.

All of the Republican presidential candidates continued to whine throughout the day about their rough treatment by CNBC, and informed TNA they would probably continue whining at least through the weekend.

NBC and the RNC were in couples counseling at press time, and NBC had already promised to be more accepting of the RNC's lies and bigotry.


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