"That lion Cecil should have just come to America and visited Planned Parenthood to die. It probably would have been way worse than what big game hunter Dr. Palmer did to him in Zimbabwe, wherever that is," stated Rubio, who took three or four large gulps from a bottle containing either water, sambuca, or vodka.
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"Look at all this outrage over a dead lion, but where is all the outrage over the planned parenthood dead babies," whined Rubio in a tweet from yesterday. |
"Senator Rubio, a true Republican who loves personal freedom and responsibility, is right. The world should focus on the Planned Parenthood hoax rather than how I brutally killed Cecil," announced the official "Most Hated Impotent White Man in the World" Dr. Palmer from an undisclosed location.
Rubio promised his commitment to personal freedom and responsibility would be clear after he voted to cut funding for an organization that aimed to give women control over their own bodies and avoid unwanted pregnancies, and thus abortions.