"I am performing a patriotic service by selling fireworks to my fellow Americans who want to celebrate Independence Day. It's just an added bonus that I am also raising money for my presidential run," stated Graham, who swore it was all well within campaign finance law.
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Col. Lindsey Graham (Top Right) receives Meritorious Service Medal in April 2009. |
Graham refused to disclose who had supplied him with the fireworks, which he referred to as "big mommas" and were illegal under Iowa law.
"Well, I didn't get them from the Islamic State, which I will wage a long and bloody war against as president," said Graham as three Iowa State Patrol cruisers pulled up to his makeshift fireworks stand.
Senator Graham was last seen having a lively discussion with five patrolmen who were all asking him to "calm down."