Greece Challenges Merkel to Russian Roulette to Solve Debt Crisis

ATHENS, GREECE (The Nil Admirari) - Early Tuesday morning, Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras challenged German Chancellor Angela Merkel to a high-stakes game of Russian roulette in Greece's latest plan to deal with its massive debt. Tsipras announced that if he lost Greece will accept a German-sponsored plan to resolve the debt crisis, but if Merkel lost Germany must support forgiving all of Greece's debts.

"The Germans have really been busting our balls about this whole debt thing. They also really didn't like it when I suggested Germany repay Greece for loans we were forced to take from the Nazi-regime to pay for our own occupation during World War II," stated Tsipras.

Alexis Tsipras in Berlin in May 2014. (Above) (Photo: Blömke/Kosinsky/Tschöpe)

Tsipras added, "Well, Russian President Vladimir Putin called me last night and suggested I challenge Chancellor Merkel to a bout of Russian roulette, which is a great idea. He even offered to take part."

"If Merkel shoots herself, someone else in Germany has to forgive all Greek debts. If I shoot myself, Greece will accept a German plan to help us pay our debts to Europe and I'll be glad to be dead," explained Tsipras.

Chancellor Merkel did not reply to our request for comment, but the Kremlin stated Putin will give Crimea back to Ukraine if he lost in the match.