"Gay America is more than happy to take credit for Tropical Storm Bill and the heavy flooding it will bring Texas and Oklahoma. Religious conservatives have not overstated our control over the weather," stated American gay activist Dan Savage.
Texas Governor Greg Abbott declared a state of emergency and demanded gays in America stop the tropical depression from bringing more flooding to his state.
"Tropical Storm Bill can easily be dissipated if only America's gays would do what is right, and as governor I order them to dissolve the storm," said Abbott.
America's gay community announced a deal could be made in exchange for certain concessions related to civil liberties, but Abbott stated he "would rather have all of Texas underneath the Gulf of Mexico."