NRA Gifts 25K Guns to Random Nonmembers on Memorial Day

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA (The Nil Admirari) - National Rifle Association (NRA) Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre announced today 25,000 random nonmembers of the NRA would be receiving loaded guns to celebrate Memorial Day. Lapierre stated the firearms would be personally delivered to the homes of lottery winning Americans by a liberally armed NRA member in their community.

"The NRA feels the best way to honor our fallen heroes on Memorial Day is to randomly deliver a wide range of loaded guns to Americans who are non-members," stated LaPierre.

Wayne LaPierre. (Above) (PHOTO: Reuters/Jim Urquhart)

LaPierre shot his rifle into the air to bring some Second Amendment order to the press pool and its barrage of questions.

"What? Background checks? Nope. We didn't do any of that since it would defeat the purpose of recognizing those who died to protect our Second Amendment right to bear arms," said LaPierre.

Police departments across the country refused to comment on a sudden and extraordinary increase in gun-related crimes on Memorial Day.


The Nil Admirari is "America's Most Swell News Source" of the spurious variety.