Ahead of Meeting, Trump Practices Insults of Chinese President

LAST UPDATED @ 12:04PM (4.5.2017)

Donald Trump practices insults of Chinese President Xi Jinping ahead of meeting and asserts chopsticks will be banned at all meals during the visit.

Trump (left) and Chinese President Xi Jinping (right).

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Trump confirmed reports he was practicing insults in preparation for the visit of Chinese President China Xi Jinping. The two world leaders will meet tomorrow to discuss a variety of issues including North Korea, trade, and how chop sticks will be banned at all meals during the visit.

"I am practicing my insults of the Chinese president like no one has ever practiced before. I am the best practicer; believe me. I will tell that Chinese crook that America is done buying things from China," said Trump, who salivated over a bucket of fried chicken.

Trump continued, "Also, there will be no chopsticks at any meal while the Chinese president is here. I feel bigly serious about that one. I won't have chopsticks at any meal. That Chinese crook will have to learn to use American utensils."

"I think it would also be great if that Chinese crook taught me how to do Kung Fu. That's an easy one and I could learn it so fast. I am the best learner. I bet I can make that deal happen," asserted Trump.

An unidentified member of the press asked Trump if his threat to stop buying Chinese products also applied to the hundreds of products sold under the Trump name.

"When I am done with that Chinese crook I will know Kung Fu. And my inauguration crowd was the biggest ever in the history of everything," replied Trump.


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