Public Servant Abuses Take Your Daughter to Work Day

LAST UPDATED @ 12:02PM (4.6.2017)

A public servant is bringing his daughter to work with him every day and giving her increasingly important tasks, according to his subordinates.

The public employee and his daughter. (Image Source)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, dozens of public employees speaking on the condition of anonymity confirmed their boss was blatantly violating professionalism in the workplace and the spirit of Take Your Daughter to Work Day. Employees claimed their supervisor was bringing his daughter to work every day well before April 27th - the official date of Take Your Daughter to Work Day - and seemed intent on continuing the practice on a long-term basis.

"At first, we thought it was cute that our boss was bringing his daughter to work, but that has definitely worn off," confessed one employee. "Now we have crayon all over the walls, snack food wrappers being left everywhere, and someone is stealing things from our lunches."

Ahead of Meeting, Trump Practices Insults of Chinese President

LAST UPDATED @ 12:04PM (4.5.2017)

Donald Trump practices insults of Chinese President Xi Jinping ahead of meeting and asserts chopsticks will be banned at all meals during the visit.

Trump (left) and Chinese President Xi Jinping (right).

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Trump confirmed reports he was practicing insults in preparation for the visit of Chinese President China Xi Jinping. The two world leaders will meet tomorrow to discuss a variety of issues including North Korea, trade, and how chop sticks will be banned at all meals during the visit.

"I am practicing my insults of the Chinese president like no one has ever practiced before. I am the best practicer; believe me. I will tell that Chinese crook that America is done buying things from China," said Trump, who salivated over a bucket of fried chicken.