Trump Ahead of Clinton 100% to 0% in Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Volgograd

LAST UPDATED @ 12:45PM (11.3.2016)

Donald Trump boasts about polls showing he will get 100% of votes in key Russian cities.

Donald Trump speaking at 2015 CPAC.
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)
VOLGOGRAD (The Nil Admirari) - The results of nine Russian polls were released today that showed Republican Donald Trump in a commanding lead over Democrat Hillary Clinton in Moscow, Saint Petersburg, and Volgograd. Every poll confirmed Trump would receive 100% of the votes in the three Russian cities, which are critical for Trump to win the White House.

"These polls are 100% accurate, and have no margin of error. Donald Trump is in commanding lead in race for American puppe... president," reported Sergei Propovski, spokesman for the Russian Ministry of Truth.

Meanwhile, on the campaign trail Donald Trump lauded the polls while speaking to a group of approximately three dozen supporters.

"Did you see the new polls coming out of Russia? Did you?" asked Trump at the raucous campaign rally in Volgograd. "These are some great polls, and they show us winning hugely, winning bigly."

After showing his supporters he did not actually have their noses, Mr. Trump continued, "And what about President Putin, right? Great guy, great guy. I've made a lot of money with him."

Trump declined to answer how many electoral votes he thought he could take out of Russia,
but he did promise to change the name of the city he was in back to Stalingrad.​


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