7.05.2016

Trump Announces 'Very White' Pillsbury Doughboy as Running Mate

LAST UPDATED @ 9:52PM (7.5.2016)

"Poppin' Fresh is very White. He's the Whitest guy I know; not that something like that even matters to me," says Trump.

Pillsbury Doughboy | Wikipedia

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump announced the Pillsbury Doughboy, also known as Poppin' Fresh, was his running mate.

"Poppin' Fresh is a wonderful guy, and he has the recipe to make America great again," declared Donald Trump at what appeared to be a Caucasian-only campaign rally.


Trump continued, "Poppin' Fresh is very White. He's the Whitest guy I know; not that something like that even matters to me. It absolutely doesn't."

"Everyone knows I love the coloreds, and have done so much for that community. They love me. They know what I do," continued Trump.


The Pillsbury Doughboy did not respond to TNA's request for comment, and rumors were circulating he had already been fired by Trump.

At press time, dozens of Ku Klux Klan chapters across the nation had praised Trump's choice of running mate.​

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