Obama Promises Drones Have Never Killed Innocent Civilians

LAST UPDATED @ 12:48PM (7.1.2016)

President Obama promises the American people there is a '100% bad guy death rate' by American drones.

Drones | Wikipedia
An MQ-9 Reaper, a hunter-killer surveillance drone (UAV). (Public Domain Image)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, President Barack Obama announced not a single innocent civilian had ever been killed in American drone strikes routinely carried out across the globe.

"When an American drone kills someone it is always killing a person representing a clear and present danger to the United States, and never innocent people," declared Obama at an afternoon press conference.

President Obama continued, "Our 100% bad guy death rate with drones should be the envy of the world, and a clear sign to our enemies that America will defend itself."

"And defending ourselves means we need to kill anyone supporting our enemies, even if it's only by living in the same country as them," explained Obama.

An unidentified member of the press asked President Obama about reports of targets like weddings and hospitals being attacked by drones.

"Our enemies have weddings and hospitals just like we do, and it's not like we're creating more enemies than we are killing," replied Obama.


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