Corporate Media Really Sick of Bernie Sanders, Democracy

LAST UPDATED @ 8:03PM  (6.7.2016)

American corporate media tired of humoring the American people with charade of democracy.

Bernie Sanders speaking at an event in Phoenix, Arizona. 
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the American corporate media syndicate confirmed its patience had been exhausted regarding democracy and Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont. The propaganda network announced it would declare former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton the winner of the Democratic presidential nomination in order to end the charade.

"We're done humoring the American people with this representative democracy thing," declared Arnold Titan, an intern speaking on behalf of CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox, and many other American propaganda outlets.

Titan continued, "Hillary Clinton wins the Democratic presidential nomination. We're counting the super delegates, and kicking the socialist to the curb for good. End of story."

"It really doesn't matter if Hillary hasn't clinched the nomination with elected delegates. We need to narrow this thing down to two absolutely horrible candidates that reflect our broken society and corrupt political system," explained Titan.

Titan was asked what position the corporate media would take if Hillary Clinton was indicted for mishandling sensitive national security data while she headed the State Department.

"We're hoping for that, actually. It will be a way better story if Hillary Clinton is the Democratic presidential nominee when that happens," replied Titan.​


The Nil Admirari is "America's Most Swell News Source" of the spurious variety.