Trump Vows to Replace American Dream with Long, Wide-Awake Nightmare

LAST UPDATED @ 9:21AM (5.5.2016)

Donald Trump reminds Americans "the American Dream is dead."

Donald Trump speaking at 2015 CPAC.
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, billionaire Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, double downed on his belief "the American Dream is dead." Trump promised Americans he would replace the deceased American Dream with a long, wide-awake national nightmare.

"The American Dream is dead, and I am going to be doing some great things as president to make sure we never miss it," Trump vaguely hinted at the nightmare to come if he won the White House.

Trump continued making his veiled threats by adding, "A lot of smart people are all saying I can fix things, because they are amazed at how many big things I have already fixed."

"America is going to be great again. I'm going to do amazing things to fix all the losing we do, and all the huge problems we have," Trump again hinted at the coming nightmare.

An unidentified member of the press asked Trump if he could describe a single policy he would advance as president.

"No," replied Trump.


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