5.24.2016

Trump Supporter Punishes Child for Acting like Trump

LAST UPDATED @ 12:07PM (5.24.2016)

Conrad Hazzard, the son of a Trump supporter, has been a pompous and disrespectful bastard. 

Donald Trump | Wikipedia
Conrad Hazzard has increasingly been a self-centered jerk during this presidential election cycle.

BRAINTREE, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, avid Donald Trump supporter Jacob Hazzard reported his eight-year-old son Conrad had been extremely disrespectful over the last few months, and had to be punished on his mother's birthday.

"I don't know what has gotten into Conrad lately. He can never be wrong. It's like Conrad no longer has any grip on reality, and blatantly lies about everything," explained Hazzard, an electrician and married father of two.


Conrad lost being able to play with his friends for a week due to his poor, self-centered attitude on his mother's birthday, during which he unleashed a vicious verbal assault on both his little sister Mary and the birthday card she made for their mother.

"What? My card for mom's birthday is the best. It won first prize at the Birthday Card Awards. I'm not saying my loser little sister's birthday card for mom is crap, but I think Mary may be bleeding from whatever and that's why it is hugely terrible," asserted Conrad Hazzard in his own defense.

"I just don't know where he is getting it from," confessed  a perplexed Mr. Hazzard.

At press time, Conrad Hazzard released a statement asserting he "couldn't wait to get out of this house of losers and enroll in Trump University."​

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