Mitt Romney spontaneously combusts after calling Donald Trump a "phony" who is an inconsistent Republican on various issues.
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| Mitt Romney at a rally in Paradise Valley, AZ on 12.6.11.
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)
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SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, former Republican presidential nominee and Governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney burst into flames while speaking to a group of conservatives opposed to Donald Trump being the 2016 Republican presidential nominee. Romney called Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump a "phony" prior to spontaneously combusting.
"Donald Trump is a bad man and an inconsistent Republican on so many issues. The man is a phony," declared Governor Romney, who appeared to be unconcerned when he burst into flames.
A robotic Romney continued, "The man will say and do anything to be president. Donald Trump is absolutely pathetic."
"Republicans need to stop being the same suckers I convinced to support me in 2012," said a fully aflame Romney.
The fire alarm in the building sounded and set off a stampede of conservatives all trying to trample each other.
"So is my allotted speaking time over?" asked Romney.