American corporate media outlets announce Hillary Clinton has won the Democratic presidential nomination, and criticize Bernie Sanders for being "un-American" by refusing to concede.
|The New York Times delegate count for the Democratic presidential primary - as of 3.18.2016. (Screen Shot)|
"All major American media outlets will be ignoring the 27 remaining Democratic primaries. We project Hillary Clinton is the Democratic presidential nominee," explained Arnold Titan, an intern speaking on behalf of CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox, and many other American propaganda outlets.
Titan continued, "Anyone who believes the corporate media cares about the 27 remaining primary states clearly has not been paying attention to our coverage."
"We urge Bernie Sanders to stop clinging to his un-American beliefs in representative democracy and voting rights. He must concede," declared Titan.
An unidentified member of the press asked Titan if the corporate media would even cover a Sanders concession speech.
"Only if we are unable to find a Donald Trump podium to watch for hours," replied Titan.