3.18.2016

Corporate Media to Ignore 27 Remaining Democratic Primaries

LAST UPDATED @ 6:41PM (3.18.2016)

American corporate media outlets announce Hillary Clinton has won the Democratic presidential nomination, and criticize Bernie Sanders for being "un-American" by refusing to concede.

2016 Delegate Count and Primary Results - The New York Times
The New York Times delegate count for the Democratic presidential primary - as of 3.18.2016. (Screen Shot)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, American corporate media outlets announced they will be ignoring the 27 remaining Democratic primaries. The plutocrat-owned propaganda crime syndicate also criticized Bernie Sanders for thinking Americans voting or caucusing in any of the later Democratic primaries actually mattered.

"All major American media outlets will be ignoring the 27 remaining Democratic primaries. We project Hillary Clinton is the Democratic presidential nominee," explained Arnold Titan, an intern speaking on behalf of CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox, and many other American propaganda outlets.


Titan continued, "Anyone who believes the corporate media cares about the 27 remaining primary states clearly has not been paying attention to our coverage."

"We urge Bernie Sanders to stop clinging to his un-American beliefs in representative democracy and voting rights. He must concede," declared Titan.


An unidentified member of the press asked Titan if the corporate media would even cover a Sanders concession speech.

"Only if we are unable to find a Donald Trump podium to watch for hours," replied Titan.

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