2.11.2016

Obama Worried Bernie May Actually Give All Americans Healthcare

LAST UPDATED @ 7:30PM  (2.11.2016)

President Obama is concerned a President Sanders will actually provide all American citizens healthcare as a human right, which is something he had promised to do in 2008. Obama wants Hillary Clinton to be his successor, because she is a fellow corrupt corporately-owned Democrat who will not make him look bad.

Bernie Sanders speaking at an event in Phoenix, Arizona. 
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, President Barack Obama announced he was very concerned Democratic presidential hopeful U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont would actually give all American citizens healthcare as a human right. Obama explained former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was his Democratic presidential contender of choice, because he wanted a successor who would not make him look bad.

"Bernie Sanders may actually have the political will to give all American citizens healthcare as a human right, and that scares the hell out of me. Everyone remembers how I somehow failed to use a Democratic majority in Congress to do that," stated President Obama, who took a pensive breath.


Obama continued, "I don't need Bernie Sanders making me look bad by showing everyone I completely lacked the political skill to do what I promised the American people. And I sure as hell don't want him to further expose me as the corrupt corporately-owned Democrat that I am."

"Hillary Clinton is the one I want to be my successor, because there is no way she will make me look bad. She's a corporately-owned Democrat, and has been telling Americans to like what they have, because it's not getting any better under her watch," explained Obama.


An unidentified member of the press asked President Obama if there was a way for U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders to earn the endorsement of the White House.

"Bernie can stop scaring the hell out of the people who actually own Washington, and start taking some of their completely legal bribes," replied Obama.

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