2.17.2016

Man Thinks Post Office Struggling Due to Mailing Sales Flyers for Free

LAST UPDATED @ 4:00PM (2.17.2016)

Thomas Basil, a right-wing politics man, is angry at the Post Office for losing so much money every year, and not charging businesses for all the sales flyers it sends to him.


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Thomas Basil is a right-wing politics man who believes things like
Republicans will fix America's infrastructure by cutting his taxes.

BROCKTON, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a Massachusetts man with a record of following right-wing media declared he was angry at the United States Postal Service (USPS) for losing money every year by sending him sales flyers without charging the businesses that make them. Thomas Basil - a Republican, construction worker, and married father of two - loudly derided the Post Office for imagined slights against him and his fellow Americans, and completely ignored the actual causes of the organization's financial problems.

"I am so sick and tired of hearing the Post Office is losing money every year. Maybe they should stop sending me junk mail, or maybe the idiots should start charging the businesses that make all of those stupid sales flyers," protested Mr. Basil, whose face was red with rage.


Upon being told the businesses promoted on the sales flyers absolutely paid to have them mailed to him, Mr. Basil replied, "Well, there are a lot of other problems, too. Big government, and you know... a ton of other stuff the Post Office can do way better."

"They need to run it like a private business," continued Basil, who did not understand a privatized Post Office would increase prices and refuse to deliver mail to Americans in parts of the country where it could not make a profit.


Mr. Basil was asked if he knew the USPS was being forced by Congress to fund all of its retirement benefits 75 years in advance, which had only worsened financial problems caused by decreased demand in the Digital Age.

"You liberals always have an answer for everything, and you don't know anything about how the private sector works," replied Basil, who was completely ignorant of American economic history.

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