Bernadette Sanders Preferred Over Hillary Clinton in Alternate Reality

LAST UPDATED @ 2:04PM (2.19.2016)

Americans in Alternate Universe 655LT8525RN support Bernadette Sanders over Hillary Clinton, who is unable to use being a woman as a political weapon there.

Hillary Clinton testifying before House Select Committee on Benghazi. (Above)
(Public Domain Image)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the results of a multiverse study were released regarding the 2016 Democratic presidential primaries in Alternate Universe 655LT8525RN. The findings showed Americans in Alternate Universe 655LT8525RN decisively supported democratic socialist U.S. Senator Bernadette Sanders of Vermont over corrupt, pro-business former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who was unable to accuse Bernadette or her supporters of sexism.

"Alternate Universe 655LT8525RN has Hillary up against Bernadette, and Clinton is getting absolutely clobbered on the issues. Clinton's campaign in that alternate reality has very much the same doom and gloom message she has been peddling here," explained TNA Researcher Dick Schneider, who disclosed Bernadette was beating Hillary nationally by twenty points.

Schneider continued, "Unlike here, Clinton has been unable to accuse Bernadette of sexism, or claim Bernadette has sexist supporters. Likewise, Clinton cannot tell Americans in Alternate Universe 655LT8525RN they should vote for her simply because she is a woman, or that the first woman president is worth the death of the American middle class."

"So, just like in our reality, Hillary is losing. She is telling Americans in Alternate Universe 655LT8525RN they better like what they have, because they aren't going to get better infrastructure, education, healthcare or anything else when she is president," stated Schneider.

An unidentified member of the press asked Schneider if he had taken the time to conduct any research on other parallel universes, and focused on how badly other Hillary Clintons were doing in the 2016 Democratic presidential primaries in those realities.

"Bernadette Sanders was also preferred over Mr. Hillard Clinton in Alternate Universe R514Y6OR25RN9E, and Bernadette is not trying to use her sex as a weapon, or assert it is a qualification for president," replied Schneider.


The Nil Admirari is "America's Most Swell News Source" of the spurious variety.