1.04.2016

Seizing Federal Building and Daring Feds to Attack Almost Certainly Terrorism, Treason

LAST UPDATED @ 11:27AM (1.5.2016)

George Washington - Wikipedia
Washington (above, tallest man) took issue with challenges to federal authority.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the U.S. Department of Reality released a report that concluded seizing a federal building and daring federal agents to attack in order to incite a deadly confrontation were almost certainly acts of terrorism and treason. This conclusion was virtually inevitable, regardless of why the federal building was seized.

"You cannot seize a federal building and dare agents of the federal government to come in and kill you if they want it back. And the circumstances around why you seized the building really don't matter," said Secretary of Reality Horace Green.


Green continued, "The fact I have to release a report saying as much pretty much scares the hell out of me. You have a right-wing political movement that is completely paranoid, and ignorant of basic American history and civics."

"Do you know what George Washington would do to these people? He would call up legal state militias, and lead them against people who are too delusional to realize they are committing treason," explained Green.

"How do I know?" asked Green, before adding, "Because Washington did exactly that in response to Americans who chose violence against federal agents rather than pay a federal tax on distilled spirits."

"Washington took a grim view of people who challenged federal authority. And the fools holed up in that federal building on a wildlife refuge in Oregon sure are lucky he is dead," asserted Green.

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