|American kids being 'takers' by eating food provided by big government. (Above)|
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the results of a TNA study on American kids who lived in poverty and routinely went hungry discovered over 80% of the starving kids were happy to not be "takers" and miss entire meals so the wealthy could receive more tax cuts. The hungry children saw malnourishment as their patriotic duty, and remained cautiously optimistic that decades of tax cuts for the wealthy would soon allow money to trickle down to the poor, as well as stop austerity measures pushed by Republicans that refuse to fund wasteful programs designed to feed starving children living in poverty.
"Our study found 80.2% of American kids living in poverty and at daily risk of missing critical meals believed they were patriots by not being 'takers' who expect the government to give them 'free stuff.' They celebrated the rich tax cuts for destroying the social safety net that would have made sure they had food simply for being children living in the world's richest country," explained TNA Senior Researcher Dick Schneider, who had returned from his holiday vacation early.
Schneider continued, "Over half of these patriotic and malnourished kids said they were 'very eager' to get back to the routine of going to school without having any breakfast beforehand, because they simply didn't have any food to eat. They also felt their patriotism grew stronger the more meals they missed and the longer they did not ask for help."
"The TNA study on American kids living in poverty and regularly going hungry discovered the largest numbers of patriotic starving children were located in states like Georgia, Arkansas, Alabama, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and Mississippi," said Schneider.
An unidentified member of the press asked Schneider if there were any questions raised by the study on children the American people allowed to live in poverty and go hungry.
"Well, White kids have over a 1 in 5 chance of going hungry, while Black and Hispanic kids have about a 1 in 3 chance," replied Schneider. "Who's the most patriotic?"