1.17.2016

Man: "I'm from Half of Working Class that Would Kill Other Half"

LAST UPDATED @ 1:58PM (1.17.2016)

Working-class Republican voter says he would eliminate half of the American working class for the right price.

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Thomas Basil is a right-wing politics man who believes things like
Republicans will fix America's infrastructure by cutting his taxes.

BROCKTON, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, a Massachusetts man declared he was from the half of the working class that would kill the other half of the working class for a reasonable price. Thomas Basil, a Republican construction worker and married father of two, told TNA he "would be happy to take out" the other half of the working class that complained about wages, working conditions, and other labor-related matters rather than work with them to improve those conditions for everyone.


"I'm from the half of the working class that would definitely kill the other half of the working class for the right amount of money. That other half of the working class complains too much and is just lazy," explained Mr. Basil, who was rummaging though a sea of medical bills on his kitchen table.


Basil continued, "It would probably help me out a lot if I took out that other half of the working class. I bet I could get my hands on more money to help pay down at least some of the crippling debt my family is in. Maybe I could even get a raise if I kill the other half of the working class quickly."


"I mean, I am already a member of a union, but I really don't see the point of being in it. I already get paid okay, and more than a lot of other people in the working class," stated Basil, who struggled with the concept of causality.


A visibly exhausted Basil yawned before asserting, "I just need to work harder and things will all work out, I bet. I'm not like those lazy whiners from the other half of the working class."


"So just let me know if you hear anything about the job creators offering money to real American working-class guys to get rid of the other half. I really need the money," said Basil.

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