1.22.2016

Sarah Palin Blames Obama for Bristol Getting Pregnant for Third Time

LAST UPDATED @ 10:16PM (1.22.2016)

Governor Sarah Palin blames President Barack Obama for not stopping her daughter, Bristol, from getting pregnant for a third time by a third man she is not married to.

Sarah Palin speaking at the 2014 CPAC in Maryland. (Above) 
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin announced her daughter Bristol was pregnant for a third time, and blamed President Obama for destroying the Christian values of America and not stopping men from getting her daughter "babyfied." All three of Bristol Palin's children will have a different father, and none one of those fathers are married to Bristol, despite Sarah Palin's heavily espoused conservative Christian values.

"Well, Bristol is pregnant again, and it's a different baby-papa-lovin'-liberal-snake father. Mr. Hopey and Changey isn't the Papa Smurf, but it darn tootin' sure is his fault Bristol done gone got babyfied again," said Governor Palin to Trump supporters confused about whether they should clap, boo, or do something else.


Palin continued, "This, you know, Obama-lama-ding-dong-Muslim community organizer is destroying America and freedom-lovin' buffs who just love freedom, and liberty, and America, and McDonald's, but maybe Arby's, like phony conservatives, and such as."

"Obama and his liberal jazz hands forced Bristol to get an appointment with that baby-carrying-swoopy-bird thing again, and then he thinks America is being kept safe with death panels?" asked Palin to a silent audience.


A loud cheer rose up from the crowd when Trump arrived on the stage and a group of his campaign staffers escorted Palin backstage where it was safer.

"You know, it's so hard to be a good Christian when the loser president keeps letting your daughter get pregnant. I'll stop that," said Trump.


No Republicans could be found to condemn Palin's statements or defend the GOP as "the party of personal responsibility."

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