12.01.2015

Dept. of Reality Demands Plan to Avoid Power Vacuum Prior to Wars Against ISIS, Syria, Iran

LAST UPDATED @ 6:23(12.1.2015)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the U.S. Department of Reality demanded a clear plan from hawks in Congress showing how they intended to prevent a power vacuum from forming in the Middle East following the ground war against ISIS, and the invasions of Syria and Iran they have called for. Congressional Republicans renewed their calls to defund the Department of Reality, which cited the American invasion of Iraq in 2003 that completely lacked post-invasion planning and resulted in both a power vacuum and a costly American occupation - in human life and treasure.


"The Department of Reality wants a plan that clearly shows how the Middle East is not completely destabilized by the reintroduction of large numbers of American ground forces. We know both ISIS and Syrian President Assad will be targeted, and also believe Iran will be next," stated Secretary of Reality Horace Green.


Secretary Green added, "So I want the hawks in Congress to submit a detailed plan showing how the United States won't just make matters worse and create another quagmire for itself. How will another American ground war help anyone but our enemies, fear-mongering politicians, and the military-industrial complex?"

The place Republicans are conspiring to defund the Department or Reality (above).
Capitol Building by Peter Griffin.
"I don't know if anyone has noticed, or been paying any attention, but every significant American military intervention after World War II has been a catastrophic failure," said Green.


House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI) and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) condemned the Department of Reality "for its dangerous reliance on objective reality."


Congress announced it planned to defund the Department of Reality prior to Christmas so Americans are not made upset by liberally-biased facts this holiday season.

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