12.05.2015

Donald Trump Declares Himself an Expert on Wind Power

LAST UPDATED @ 4:58PM (12.5.2015)

COLUMBUS, OHIO (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and megalomaniac billionaire Donald Trump told voters he was an expert on wind power, and viewed wind as the most reliable and realistic renewable energy source. Trump pointed to the well-documented fact that his mouth routinely unleashed massive amounts of very loud, largely incoherent, inhumanly strong, and exceedingly angry hot air at campaign events and virtually every other place graced with his presence.


"Wind power is amazing, just huge, and it will be the future of American renewable energy. Just take it from me, because I know a thing or two about generating a lot of wind," stated Trump, who confessed he had been called  "windbag" and "gasbag" on multiple occasions.


Trump added, "You know me. The amount of wind I generate in just one speech to angry, low-information Republican primary voters like all of you could power an absolutely huge, and I am talking about really big, wind farm. Huge, I am saying. Did I say 'huge?'"

Donald Trump speaking at the 2015 CPAC in Maryland on 2.27.2015. 
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

"I mean, look, hot air comes out of my mouth so fast, you know, that I am way more dangerous to birds than those windmills. I just open my mouth, and every bird within one square mile goes down. They just can't deal with its strength," explained Trump.


An unidentified member of the press asked Trump if he intended to put windmills on grounds of the White House or perhaps even on the roof of the presidential residence.


"Absolutely not," replied Trump, who walked away as he asked, "Where would I put the huge solid gold statue of me slaying Rosie O'Donnell?"

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