12.22.2015

Corporate Media Working on Plan for When Sanders Starts Winning

LAST UPDATED @ 6:03PM (12.22.2015)

Bernie Sanders
U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders during a filibuster in December 2010. (Above)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the largest corporate media outlets in the United States announced they were "working very, very hard" on a plan to continue trying to make U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont look unelectable in 2016 even when he started to win states and delegates in the Democratic Party presidential primaries. The corporate propaganda syndicate conceded its efforts to ignore and portray Bernie Sanders as unelectable had, thus far, failed to convince many Americans of the inevitability of Hillary Clinton - the pro-war, pro-fear, and status quo candidate considered the darling of Wall Street - being the Democratic presidential nominee.


"Far too many Americans are simply not 'getting with the program.' They are ignoring our propaganda regarding Bernie Sanders, which dismisses him as unelectable despite both his popularity and crowds topping those of Republican presidential candidate, and professional clown, Donald Trump's," declared Arnold Titan, an intern speaking on behalf of CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox, and many other American propaganda outlets.


Titan continued, "Our propaganda syndicate is working very hard on a strategy that continues to make Bernie Sanders look as if he is outside of mainstream American politics, even though his positions are held by a majority of Americans.  What a majority of Americans think clearly doesn't matter to us, as we have been focusing on people like Trump and Cruz, who are both way too disliked and extreme to be elected president."


"So, if we have to destroy Sanders' reputation to ensure Hillary wins the Democratic presidential nomination, then we will. Because there is very little difference between her and most of the Republican field on things like fear mongering about terrorism, and enthusiasm for putting large numbers of American ground troops onto battlefields across the Middle East," explained Titan.


An unidentified member of the press asked Mr. Titan if he was confessing the corporate propaganda syndicate was using its power and influence to essential select the next President of the United States of America by manipulating Americans and shaping their opinions of presidential candidates.


"Yes. Did you just get here? We're banking on Hillary winning it all. An increasingly large army of 'experts' will attack Sanders using a database of pre-prepared political attacks, which all members of the corporate media syndicate will be compelled to recite ad nauseam," replied Titan.

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