"Everyone thinks Area 51 is the place where extraterrestrials live or fly or something, but that is not true. The real reason Area 51 exists is to house Sasquatches. Millions and millions of Sasquatches," said Carson, who gave the press a vacant stare.
|Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson. (Above)|
Carson added, "Oh, and the original brain God gave me is there, too. The Area 51 Sasquatches switched my original brain with a brain from one of the Sasquatches, and that's where my brain has been ever since."
"I was already a neurosurgeon by that time, but I did become a Republican shortly afterward. And now I am running for president," explained Carson.
An awkward silence washed over the room before Carson stated, "Okay, I am all done talking to all the nice people now."
A Carson 2016 staffer quickly emerged, took the doctor by the hand, and led him off of the stage.