DES MOINES, IOWA (The Nil Admirari) - Around noon today, Republican presidential candidate and retired neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson compared his lunch salad to slavery. The midday meal complaint followed Carson's increasingly common pattern of comparing things he disliked to slavery.
"This salad has far too many croutons, and not even close to enough bacon bits or vinaigrette dressing. It's the worst thing since slavery," protested Carson, who subsequently asserted, "the chef should probably be arrested or something."
|Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson. (Above)|
Dr. Carson continued, "Seriously, who puts this many croutons on a salad? I feel like I have to eat them all and don't know what the chef was thinking."
"I know I have compared Obamacare and abortion to slavery, but this salad is far worse than all of those things put together," explained Carson.
The latest polls in Iowa showed Dr. Carson was the frontrunner among likely Republican caucus-goers.