"VOTE GOP 2016 OR DIE" New Republican Party Slogan

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, the Republican National Committee (RNC) announced the GOP was adopting the slogan "VOTE GOP 2016 OR DIE." RNC Chairman Reince Priebus explained the new Republican slogan best summarized the current discourse of the party's members, especially its presidential candidates.

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"Hate, fear, paranoia, and perceived victimization are the Four Horsemen of the Republican Party, and they have been for decades. I have no doubt they will bring us victory in 2016. Scott Walker recently said we should build a wall on our border with Canada, because of terrorism. That's right, Canada," explained Pribeus.

The Four Horsemen of the Republican Party: Hate, Fear, Paranoia, and Perceived Victimization.

Priebus added, "There are so many places and things to be afraid of. Hear about Rep. Matt Salmon of Arizona scaring the hell out second- and third-graders by talking about nuclear war with Iran and suicide bombers? He also has a gay son, but still opposes gay marriage. Classic Republican."

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Chairman Priebus also praised Trump for "telling it how it is" on rapist and murderer illegal immigrants, "protecting the rights of white Americans," and "protecting the religious freedom of Christians to impose their hatred on others, especially 'the gays.'"

When TNA asked Priebus why Trump was getting so much support from white-supremacist groups he replied, "I honestly have no idea why that is happening. We're just such a welcoming big-tent party."

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At the end of the interview, Priebus said Dick Cheney would "continue pushing for war with Iran, and telling Americans they will die in a nuclear attack unless they vote Republican in 2016."