Kim Davis Supporters Wish "Founding Father Jesus Christ Was President Again"

GRAYSON, KENTUCKY (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, hundreds rallied outside of the Carter County Detention Center where Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis had been held since Thursday for contempt of court for refusing to issue a marriage license to any same-sex couple. Supporters prayed for Davis, pledged thousands of dollars to her, and were in unanimous agreement that "freedom of religion would not be under attack" if "Jesus Christ was president again."

"Kim Davis is supposed to have freedom of religion, and we are here today to fight for Kim's freedom to tell same-sex couples her religion is more important than their equality under the law," stated Franklin Pilot, pastor of  the Lynchburg, Tennessee church My God Is Supreme, Your Constitution Is Subservient.

Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis explains she won't issue marriage licenses
to gay couples, because she doesn't like that law.

Pilot added, "If America's greatest Founding Father Jesus Christ was president again, none of this would be happening. Everyone who has taken Civics 101 knows Christ created America and declared it to be a 'Christian Nation.' Just because liberal textbooks censor that information doesn't make it untrue."

A short time after the interview, Pilot led all of Davis' supporters in a prayer begging Jesus Christ to "return and set everything right again" so that "Christians can impose their religious beliefs on everyone else just like you want."

Kim Davis released a statement from her jail cell thanking her supporters, and announced she was "still researching the Bible for passages where Jesus said he hated gay people and same-sex marriage."


The Nil Admirari is "America's Most Swell News Source" of the spurious variety.