9.12.2015

Hillary Pledges to Make Only "One or Two Mistakes" Similar to Vote For Iraq War

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she only planned to make one or two mistakes like her 2002 vote to give Republican President George W. Bush the authority to invade Iraq. Clinton assured Americans she would apologize "extremely sincerely" for an inevitable future mistake or two that could be compared to the costly war with, and subsequent occupation of, Iraq.


"I think everyone knows that I am very, very sorry for my vote to approve the invasion of Iraq. It was a mistake, and I promise that there will only be one or two mistakes of equal or worse magnitude than the war with Iraq," stated Clinton, who touted her experience of "learning from her mistakes" as one of her strengths as a presidential candidate.

 "Defense.gov photo essay 091203-N-0696M-239" by U.S. Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Chad J. McNeeley.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. (Above)
(Photo: U.S. Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Chad J. McNeeley)

Clinton continued, "There will almost certainly be a war with Iran while I am president. I probably won't find the time to make a second massive mistake like invading Iran during my time in office, but I do not want to sell myself short. So I promise not to make more than two massive foreign policy mistakes during my presidency."


"This doesn't cover the domestic mistakes I will make, like doing next to nothing about income inequality and my friends on Wall Street robbing the middle class and poor in broad daylight with the government's tacit approval," explained Clinton, who laughed when asked if she would "split up the banks."

At the end of the press conference, Secretary Clinton asserted, "no one can be more sorry than I am  about my past and future mistakes."

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