8.05.2015

WorldNetDaily Declares Donald Trump "The Second Coming of Christ"

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier this evening, conservative website WorldNetDaily (WND) - the same source that recently accused President Obama of being possessed by a Kenyan demon - reported billionaire and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was "the Second Coming of Christ."  WND claimed its regular contributors Joseph Farah, Ann Coulter, Erik Rush, Pat Boone, and Ted Nugent were all at the same seance when they accidentally contacted Muhammad, but were quickly transferred to Mary the Mother of God, who told them Donald Trump was "the second coming of my son, Jesus."

"It was amazing. We totally contacted the founder of Islam first, which was weird, but then Pat Boone said he was being possessed by Mary the Mother of God. Of course, we couldn't wait to see what she wanted us to know, and she told us Donald Trump is the Second Coming of her son," said Ted Nugent, who was served with a court summons related to sexual misconduct as he testified about his experience.

Donald Trump speaking at the 2015 CPAC in Maryland on 2.27.2015. 
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

Nugent threw the summons onto the ground and added, "Ann Coulter was possessed by Muhammad, and I don't want to tell you what she said or did. I will totally take credit for her bloody nose and carving "God Bless America" into her forehead with my steel guitar pick. She's kind of mad about that."

"Donald Trump being the Second Coming of Christ just makes sense. He is a billionaire who speaks honestly to the average American about how long and hard he had to work before inheriting $40 million to $200 million from his dad. So much like Jesus," said Coulter, who wore a bandanna.

WND announced whoever won the Democratic presidential nomination would quickly be labelled "the antichrist," and they would cook up conspiracies about the Democratic nominee comparable to the Obama birth certificate conspiracy they have been running with since 2008.

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