"Everyone who isn't an idiot knows that I will win the Republican nomination and the general election to be the next president. I threw my new kitten Mr. Fiddlesticks off of Trump Tower to prove that even animal cruelty cannot stop me," stated Trump.
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Trump's kitten Mr. Fiddlesticks. (Above) |
Trump added, "I don't even know why we are going to have primaries or wait until November 2016. I'm ready to be president right now, and I'll even pay for a one-way airline ticket so Obama can go back to Kenya."
Approximately 30% of likely Republican primary voters stated they supported Trump after the kitten throwing incident, which was an increase of nearly eight percentage points.
Trump closed the press conference by stating, "Although I haven't seen him since gravity took him away, I bet Mr. Fiddlesticks probably landed on his feet and is fine."