8.27.2015

Second Grader Gets Sticker for Correctly Interpreting Second Amendment, Reading "Militia" Portion

MANSFIELD, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, a second grade student named Benjamin Boom earned a sticker for correctly interpreting the Second Amendment by acknowledging the "militia" referenced in the amendment. The Mansfield, Massachusetts pupil cited conservative Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren E. Burger, who called the argument that private citizens have the right to bear arms "a fraud."

"The Second Amendment is narrowly referring to 'a well regulated militia' and not speaking on the freedom individual Americans have to bear arms. The latter belief is nothing more than the National Rifle Association's erroneous interpretation of the Second Amendment," explained a smiling Boom, who earned a star-shaped sticker that had "Great Job!" written on it.

 Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Second grader Benjamin Boom citing Chief Justice Warren E. Burger
to strengthen his interpretation of the Second Amendment. (Above)
Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Boom added, "When the Second Amendment was adopted state militias were an important component of national defense. They were often called upon to help the far smaller standing army at that time. Today, anyone who is an active member of our national military or a state defense force has a protected right to bear arms. Everyone else, not so much."

NRA Executive Vice President and CEO Wayne LaPierre criticized the second grader for being "an anti-gun liberal elitist who seeks to take the right to bear arms from Americans who simply want to protect themselves from other Americans who bear arms."

"You can believe Wayne LaPierre and his gun-cult ramblings that promote fear of those who sacrifice to protect our country, or me and the 15th Chief Justice of the United States," retorted Boom.

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