8.31.2015

President Obama to Rename Mount Washington "Mount Obama"

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Late this afternoon, President Obama announced his intention to rename the tallest mountain in the Presidential Range located in New Hampshire. Obama explained Mount Washington would be renamed "Mount Obama," because he was better at being president than America's first president under the Constitution - George Washington.

"I think it is clear I am one of the best presidents America has ever had. The Republicans have fought me on everything and have no alternatives, and I am still finding ways to get things done," announced Obama, who planned to make the renaming official next week.

Mount Washington seen from Bretton Woods. (Above) (Photo Source: Wwoods)

Obama added, "I'll feign shock when Republicans call me 'a dictator' and 'the worst president ever.' When you're outraged by everything it really loses its impact. I am not going reward adults who act like petulant children."

Republicans proclaimed their outrage and conservative media outlets led by Fox News quickly skimmed some Wikipedia articles to sound quasi-informed while they condemned Obama's actions.

President Obama also announced his desire to have his face added to Mount Rushmore "right next to Abraham Lincoln's face."

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