8.28.2015

President George W. Bush to Visit New Orleans, Hopes "All the Water Is Gone By Now"

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, former President George W. Bush will visit New Orleans to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and his administration's awe-inspiring response to the devastating storm. President Bush announced his brother Jeb Bush - a Republican presidential candidate and the former Governor of Florida - would be standing next to him during what they both called "a victory lap."

"I am very excited to visit New Orleans again. I just hope all the water is gone by now," said George W. Bush, who stood on a platform and watched as a suspiciously familiar "Mission Accomplished" banner was hung behind the podium he would speak at.

President George W. Bush on the USS Abraham Lincoln on May 1, 2003.

Bush added, "I just bought these new shoes, and I don't want to get them wet. Jeb has voiced similar concerns about his shoes. That's why we'll be taking a tour of New Orleans in a helicopter after I make some very brief remarks."

Jeb Bush was also excited to visit New Orleans and stated, "I want all Americans to know that as president my response to all future devastating storms in America will be just like my brother's response to Katrina."

President Bush declared he stood by his "Heckuva job, Brownie" statement to Michael Brown, who was the director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.

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