8.16.2015

Huckabee Escapes Psychiatric Wing, Agrees 10-Year-Old Should Have Rapist's Baby

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee somehow escaped from the psychiatric wing he was residing in at Bellevue Hospital. Huckabee announced he wanted to make himself available to CNN so he could tell all of America he agreed with the government of Paraguay denying a 10-year-old rape victim in AsunciĆ³n an abortion and forcing her to give birth to the child.


"You know what? That little girl was a much more mature age 11 when she gave birth to her daughter on Thursday," stated Huckabee, who failed to see even the slightest bit of reasoning or humanity behind any position outside of the one he unapologetically held.

Huckabee at 2014 CPAC in Maryland. (PHOTO: Gage Skidmore)

Huckabee added, "Why is no one thinking about the rapist and the child he blessed her with? Yes. I know her rapist was her step-father, who should have treated her with respect as his own child, but the two of them made something beautiful together."
Additionally, Huckabee said he "saw nothing wrong" with nearly 900 Paraguayan girls between the ages of 10 and 14 - most of them rape victims - being forced to give birth last year, "because God willed it and rape just happens sometimes."

CNN announced men equipped with nets showed up right after their interview with Huckabee, and they were eventually able to corral and capture him in order to return him to Bellevue.

DISCLAIMER NOTICE:

The Nil Admirari is "America's Most Swell News Source" of the spurious variety.