8.09.2015

California Urges Citizens to Visit Out-of-State Loved Ones, Return with "Borrowed Water"

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, California Governor Jerry Brown (D) urged the citizens of his state to visit out-of-state family members and friends, and "borrow some water to bring back to California." Brown explained it was the best long-term backup plan California could put forth as the state found itself in the fourth year of a historic drought.

"As everyone knows, California is facing a critical shortage of water. We have tried to restrict water usage, but many Californians don't think the restrictions apply to them, especially if they are wealthy and feel it would be fatal to have a brown lawn. So it's time for another plan," said Brown, who sighed loudly.

A map showing the seriousness of California's drought. (Source)

Brown added, "Unfortunately, we have no other realistic backup plans. So I urge Californians to visit out-of-state family and friends, and return to California with 'borrowed water.' Bring buckets, plastic storage containers, coolers, and whatever else you can put water in, and surprise visit loved ones."

California's neighboring states condemned Brown's public plan to 'borrow' water from them. Brown explained he only meant for Californians to go to states with no droughts, but refused to state that publicly when Nevada Governor Brian Sandoval (R) demanded he do so.

Governor Brown also hinted he was going to ask Californians to go to other states to "adopt drought-resistant trees and shrubs" to replace those destroyed in California's wildfires.

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