7.24.2015

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker Wants Selective Service Records for Upcoming Draft, Iran War

MADISON, WISCONSIN (The Nil Admirari) - Republican presidential candidate and Governor of Wisconsin Scott Walker announced today he wanted the Selective Service System to give him all of its records regarding all able-bodied men ages 18-30. Walker explained he wanted to use the list to offer incentives to registered American males to volunteer for military service before he is sworn in as president, and reinstates the draft for a war with Iran.

"The Selective Service System is still around so we can have a record of all able-bodied men ages 18-25 in the event the draft is ever reinstated. Well, on my first day in the White House I will be bringing back the draft in preparation for a war with Iran," stated Walker, who stood in front of the Koch Brothers and smiling war profiteers from Lockheed Martin and Raytheon, among others.

Koch brothers' shill Scott Walker speaking at the 2015 CPAC in Maryland on 2.26.2015
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

Walker added, "And I am giving incentives to American males who volunteer for military service rather than waiting until they are drafted. They'll get a 'Don't Tread On Me' flag, and a 'Walker 2016' t-shirt, fanny pack, and mug.

An unidentified reporter asked Walker if he was considering expanding the draft to include American women for the more inclusive contemporary American military.

"Only if I need to send American troops into a war with North Korea or Russia prior to winning in Iran," replied Walker.

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