7.13.2015

Scott Walker Announces Candidacy to Destroy America's Economy

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Koch brothers' puppet Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (R) announced his candidacy to destroy America's economy by using the same failed trickle-down economic policies he has employed in Wisconsin.  Walker's announcement was largely overshadowed by the unfolding debt crisis in Greece, which Walker promised would pale in comparison to what he intended to do to the global economy.

"Like most of the other Republican candidates vying to destroy America's economy, I have cut taxes on the rich and then cut programs for everyone else due to the resulting massive deficits. My job creation has also been half of what I promised," said Walker, who seemed proud of his Koch-funded efforts.

Koch brothers' shill Scott Walker speaking at the 2015 CPAC in Maryland on 2.26.2015
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

Walker added, "I have also wasted tax payer funds by giving money to businesses that were ineligible for it, because I did not provide proper oversight for handouts to taker businesses. Do you know Wisconsin ranks dead last in the country for new business start-up activity because of me?"

Governor Walker was asked if he knew neighboring Minnesota beat Wisconsin in virtually every economic indicator after Governor Mark Dayton (D) turned a $5 billion budget deficit into a $1 billion surplus by doing the exact opposite of Walker and Wisconsin Republicans.

"Minnesota actually cares about protecting workers and the middle class. In Wisconsin, we have different priorities like making the rich even richer and destroying the economy by beggaring everyone else. Just like Jesus would do," replied Walker.

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