7.12.2015

KKK Group Has Bake Sale to Increase Its Ownership of Fox News

COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA (The Nil Admirari) - The Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) had a bake sale outside the South Carolina State House today to raise money to increase its ownership of 21st Century Fox (FOXA), which is the parent company of Fox News.  At present, the KKK group owns 3% of Fox News and has a goal of reaching 5% ownership by the end of 2015.

"The original plan was to hold a rally on Saturday, July 18th to support the Confederate flag that flew outside the state legislature, but collaborators with non-whites took it down on Friday," said KKK "Imperial Kommander" Amanda Lee, who TNA confirmed was actually a woman.

KKK cupcakes like these were sold
so the Loyal White Knights could buy
more of Fox News' parent company.

Lee added, "So now we are just trying to raise some money so we can buy more 21st Century Fox stock and increase our ownership of the daddy company of Fox News from 3% to 5%. Then we will have even more control and access to its KKK-friendly audience."

"We hope to one day own more of Fox News than Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, who owns 6.6% of 21st Century Fox," explained an unidentified KKK member wearing a white robe and a very pointy hat.

Rupert Murdoch - the only person to own more voting shares of Fox News than Alwaleed - stated the KKK was "a valuable voting shareholder that represents the values of our company."


DISCLAIMER NOTICE:

The Nil Admirari is "America's Most Swell News Source" of the spurious variety.